Questions: dependence, women, artist, etc

I’m picking up writing again. Because: I realized I am (whether or not consciously) attracted to a stream-of-conscious style of writing (Henry Miller, Montaigne, Anais Nin’s diary even), and that more important than the product of writing itself, is the self-discovery during the process of writing ( as Kafka puts it: “It is, in fact, an intercourse with ghosts, and not only with the ghost of the recipient but also with one’s own ghost which develops between the lines of the letter one is writing and even more so in a series of letters where one letter corroborates the other and can refer to it as a witness.”). So it is my hope here, then, to keep writing as much as I can manage in order to keep my brain deft and well.

Two questions stemming from the same vein caught my attention lately. One (first asked by a friend of mine who happens to be a highly accomplished, serious, classical musician): if making money and achieving that desirable state of living is easy, would an artist still strive to work hard still?

As I’m typing this it seems a rather silly and self-evident question. If an artist forfeits his/her artistic effort due to easily accessible material comfort, it is obvious he/she is not a true artist. Why? Because the goal isn’t for art. But in my friend’s case, as much as I know about him, he certainly is a serious and dedicated musician. Perhaps the answer is this: for an artistic mind (or otherwise; as I believe it is true for the majority of us), materialist accumulation has no end. And therefore such unquenched desire for material gain and living comfort will always propel such people like him to strive for a higher ground artistically.

Second question is, for a woman who can easily obtain such materialistic comfort by means of men, would she still strive for self-fulfillment as an independent human being? I am a woman and I have no desire whatsoever to achieve a comfortable living through men – in fact, I tend to possess strong self-loathing feelings if I were ever close to that. So I can’t really answer this question. Maybe I will another time.

A slightly related thought: I think the sexual freedom women achieved through feminist movements is as much about choosing to have sex outside of a marital status with only the married partner as it is about choosing not to perform sexual act as a duty to her married partner within a marriage.

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